Before you even made this topic, you probably knew that you were going to get a huge wall of text from me. I write a huge wall of text for everybody that I feel dearly about and you are no exception.
A week before Christmas, I was at the mall sitting on Santa's lap. He asked what I wanted for Christmas. I thought to myself for a moment, then I told him I wanted peace on earth, good will to mankind, but most of all, I wanted Tom N Eto to join EOP. As I stared at the long lineup behind me, dozens of faces of young children, probably all wanting Tom N Eto to join their clans, Santa asked me if I was to big for this. I told him yes, I am too big for this. Every time I think about Tom, I get a little bigger down there, and I was thinking about him quite a lot lately. If Tom joined EOP, I would become quite the spearman. Sitting on Santa's lap, I felt him getting bigger as well. He must be thinking about Tom too.
Now why does EOP want Tom to join so badly? For one, we'd be a bigger clan. Our numbers would only increase by one, but our sizes would increase by quite a bit. Secondly, EOP is on our way to #1. All we have are Arsenal and Barcelona to beat, and then we shall be crowned #1! We are a clan full of the best players in Runescape. We got all the red power rangers originally from EOP, we got the blue power rangers from Ascendency, we got the yellow power rangers from Divinity, we got the black power rangers from Veneration, and all we need is the Tom the pink power ranger. We the power of all 5 power rangers combined, we shall win the MTV music awards! We are already unbeatable in miniwars, rap battles, and dance offs. With the power of the pink power ranger, we shall be unbeatable in the wilderness as well!
Now what does EOP have to offer Tom? We can offer minimum wage and the best community of all pure clans! We had the second best community when Malice was alive, and the third best community when Ascendency was alive, but now we have the best community! When I joined EOP, I joined for the miniwars, but the community is what made me stay. The community is so good I couldn't believe it's not butter. I mean it's crunchy and juicy at the same time! We're a Vlasic pickle! It's not hard to have a good community inside a clan. EOP has what is rare in the pure world, a good community with people from other pure clans as well. We love every single clan out there, whether they are black or white, and they all love us too. Besides community, EOP can also offer the best miniwars. We have about half a dozen miniwars and a couple pk trips a day, early morning and late night. There are plenty of Australian and Nocturnal people in EOP so events will be plenty when Tom is around. Goop doesn't sleep so he can host events at any time. Other than community and events, we can also throw in some hugs. In EOP, every day is free hugs day! In other clans, every day is just hug-until-you-get-kbed day and then they complain that I'm spamming. I don't like other clans very much :(. In EOP, we're always up for a hug, or a mini, or both! We like to hug trees and rocks in miniwars so they feel loved as well. The other clans attack us when we do that. I think they are jealous or something. More reason why I don't like other clans very much :(.
Everyone in EOP would be super happyzorz if you joined Tom. Without u, we'd be Erption of Pres. That sounds pretty retarded, so that's why we need u so bad. The reason we need you is because we could always use more friendly people to add to our community. We also need your warring and leadership skills as well. Whatever position Cy is offering you, we'd give you one higher. We'd even give you leader if need be. Haha just kidding. You get new member like everyone else no matter how special you are. If you apply now, we'll give you the rank of elite in our hearts. It's better than nothing.
Every day that you don't join, we will write you another wall of text. If you join DP, we will post the wall of text on their forums instead. If they ban us, we'll copy and paste it into their IRC and hope we don't get kicked for flooding. We'd write a million walls of text for you. Eventually they'll just be copy and pasted versions of earlier ones when we run out of ideas, but our feelings never change. So join EOP or else we'd just keep annoying you.
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