While munching on some dry bread and training home at 40 past 9 pm, I was thinking about what I was going to do this weekend.
To log in to scape or not to log in. That is the eternal question.
Lately, I've been neglecting my Comrades. Little virgin children who put their faith into me joking up their saturday with some clever lulz and alot of gay jokes, and I've let them down.
Seeing how my laptop broke down earlier last week, and with me in no means of buying a new one, I found myself in the eternal twist. To get an extra job to pay for a laptop, to come online to talk with my homies, or to finaly start life.
Damn, I wanted that to sound a little more light-heartedly. I'll try to explain a bit.
I used to be an enormous gamer. As in, legendary. I used to scape (this was back in 2003-2006) about 4,5 hours a day on weekdays, and I'm ashamed to admit the weekends would go in single digits. I'd make friends online, add them on MSN and talk to them, day in day out.
I'd meet people from all over the world, I'd meet girls, something I postponed in real life (I wasn't always the saucy hot teacher I am today) and guys who changed my life. And I don't mean that in a manner of speech.
Some people I've met over the years really changed who I am and how I think about life. I remember a 17 hour conversation I had with a girl who got abused by her father once. I'd known this girl for about 7 months, only through online ofc, and I found myself unable to do anything but type.
I knew what I typed or said couldn't make a difference, and that I was unable to help in any way, but I just wanted that person not to feel alone.
In real life, I'm much of a bigger jerk. Like most people. In my teen years, I used to care about popularity, not hanging out with the nerds or fat chicks, going out to party and get in the occasional fight. But online, I was anonymous. And where most people use anonimisity (is that even a word?) to attempt to mend their problems, I found it as a way to redeem myself, and to learn the human psyche.
But alas, then I turned 18. After the WoW and Guild Wars years (2006-2008) of me rocking 16 hour days in the weekends, I decided to quit 'that side of me'.
I never wanted people to know I was a 'gamer', and me moving out of my parent's house and moving on my own, getting a job and being in a whole new city, in a 2 hour drive from home, gave me a way to change who I was.
I became a whole different person, the person I still am today, and I don't regret that for a bit.
But while being bored on december the 25th (I'm not too fond of christmas, I like spending major holidays alone, I'm not a real 'let's cheer' kinda guy) I decided to make a character on that runescape site I forgot about. Just for old times sake.
And there, my story started. The people who are still reading are the kids who know me. Others have obviously (and understandably) skipped this whole rambling. But to the people who are still reading I don't have to talk about my time spent in Negative and how I will never forget that experience. Or the familiy I found in Malice and the brotherhood that included me in their ranks known as NME.
But all you kids have been so good to me.
When I say that I sincerely wish that all of you, every single person out there who I've met, both in game and on forums, vent and whatnot, will have an amazing life, I don't mean that as a manner of speech. I sincerely wish and know you all deserve a great ******* life. Filled with achieved dreams, girls (even for you sandra) and a fulfilling job. But not that. Hell, way, way more then that. All of you deserve this because I know each and every one of you out there is a ******* boss.
What I see when I browse around communities, both inter clan and larger communities such as purewarfare, is a diversity you would NEVER find in 'real' life. Bodybuilders, Emo's, goth kids, mathematicians and religious prophets all gathered together, being forced to communicate and learn from each other. Every single person behind every post or every character is someone that I could have been, had I made some different choices. (apart from you inu, I could never be asian.)
Hell, we all have our rivalries around here. I used to hate EF. Inventing the Fork joke (still so proud about that) and being all like 'green pride' during my 3 clan career, I found myself leaning towards an anti-CP attitude. But to be honest, the only reason rivalries spark on these sites is because every single guy out here has so much clanpride and such a huge bond with their clanmates that if one of these gets insulted in the slightest way, their primal instinct deflects all attacks, leading to furious flamebattles.
The thing I've noticed over the past months is that nobody out here hates another guy. When we flame or insult clans or people, it's their avatars we dislike. I know for a fact that I could go drink tonight with every single ******* one out of you there and I'd have a ******* blast.
This is getting a tad too long for my taste, I have to get up in a few hours and teach to some 14 year olds about how Athene became a democracy. Or something like that. /carebear.
These are the kids that I will remember and who made an impact on me. In no particular order.
inb4 little hormonal boys being all mad cuz they're not featured.
Negative;
Maf1a. Yeah duh how else would I start this list. You're my first clanleader, you're black and a huge troll. For that, I will never love you more.
Andy. You know I'll always have a special soft spot for you. You keep on hopping away whenever I try to join your clan, but I know it's just because you're scared about the Spark. Yes, I've felt it too.
Zack. I know if we've met on different terms we would have hated each other's guts, but I wub you. You're going to get far with that music thingy of yours, and I'm not saying that because I have to. You taught me how to spam kiddo.
JZ. Hell, do I even have to say why you're on this list? You're by far one of the best guys out there, both IRL and in game. You have friends all over this community and there's a reason for that. I won't forget the talk we had the eve malice was closing, and I wish you luck in that department. You know what I'm talking about.
Viesturs. It's strange. Whenever I think about JZ, you always pop up. Maybe because you're such an intelligent ******* (and jz is a dumb ***) and also one of the people I enjoyed talking to the most. I know you're in good hands where I left you kiddo. Maybe we should go hunt some Revs again together.
Sleezy. I'll never forget the PM's we used to have on [-]neg. Whale jimmy pride.
Dave. God, I don't even know where to start. Being a teacher makes me scepitcal about 12 year old boys (sorry, you're not 13 you're 14 almost 15) but I must admit, you ******* rock. You're the only kid out there that nearly made me tear when you were talking about the closure of both Malice and Negative. Forever in your heart kiddo <3
Altus. When Zack told me 'only Altus joined when Negative closed, but as I see it, we got their finest' he wasn't lying. You're a legend.
Theory. By far the best asian kid I've ever met. By far.
Tragic. Fu green pride gtfo EF u little ***** <3
ClasicPk. Hell, I nearly forgot you, while you were up there with JZ and Viest about being #1 chillaxbrahskis. Yeah it's a word I made up, why don't you post about my 99 spam cape or Dave's special award. Hell, you'll never even read this ****, you quit and left me alone. I hope you die.
Dutch Robert. We kinda drifted apart after you went all like 'HELL YEAH JASPER CTRL' but at least I sniped you the following weeks. We're the only 2 kids that ever got 1k+ posts on Negative site (and I got that 3 times so you suck) and who !kb'd the entire negative IRC, including yourself and all fullops.
Willy. You're such an insane pottymouth but everything you say makes me smile. William Lawace was here, rocking your main status.
BH. Haven't heard from you in ages, but I hope you're doing alright. Seeing you tinychat naked with JZ scarred me for life.
Hugh. Your bot insulting me scares me harder then my granny knits.
Michael. You'll get far IRL with that talent you have, I know it. Sad our F2P team never really worked out, but I'll fondly hold on to the yellow teamcapes I bought just for you.
Shantelle & Zach: Keep Willy safe for me will you? I know I can trust the two of you with this task <3
Also, I'll never forgive Dave for getting you to leave negative. That ******* scumcunt.
#beesknees and #teammrsash pride forever.
Malice;
Inu. I can't even start. To me, you're an asian JZ. You are such a wonderful kid I can't even say. I felt bad when Negative closed, but how you fit me in your little asian hole... I still can't believe it. You are one of the 4 kids who I have to meet IRL one day. If I never hear that sweet raging voice ever again it will haunt me on my deathbed.
Pierz. One day, I will wash your ponytail and we will share a moment that will leave us pondering our sexuality for the rest of our lives.
Mandy & Jared. To the both of you, I owe a debt I cannot repay. I sincerely apologise that I never finished the story. But you two are the cutest thing I've ever seen on the internet. Such loyalty lasting through many years and many clans, it baffles me till this day. May your elven wings shalter Jared for the cold lone winters ahead.
Brad: I just added you to my wolfpack.
Joelson: You're a legend and I know you'll do just fine, wherever you decide to go.
Kiss: No power ammy no str pot no problem. Pottymouthed legend.
#mandyland till I die.
NME:
Every single one of you knows how I feel about you guys. There are far too many of you kids to name here, and you all know every single one of you who I ever replied to is loved by me. And the occasional drunk night, I'll come haunt the troll board once more.
A special shoutout to Prateek and Ben, because for me, you were my Mafia and Andy, my Inu and Pierz. You guys were the kids that kept me logging in week after week.
#wolfpack
Ofc, there are the no namer fagboys who I had the occasional E-mance with (clever, right?) but I'm getting kind of tired, so I'm just going to be all like QUICK LIST QUICK
Xpnk, Lawson, Sean, Ydoc, skillzy, pur3, Suicide and many others from these communities touched my heart. (that sounded pretty gay, but I mean it.)
If I didn't have to teach in the morning, I'd have typed a shitload more. This is 11 months of my life that I'm ending right here and right now. If I happen to have a spare saturday and find myself able to use a computer, I will come rock with #NME, but I'm not sad. I can say that I've been in the 3 best communities I could ever imagine, and having beat every single clan out there, from a iG fullout, to beating MM outopted.