How to be a pro tank like Bass

[Bass]

You guys are all very lucky for me to bring this guide to PW.

In the past this has been strictly reserved for my clan only.

 

~Bass's Pro Tank Tips~

 

 

 

 

Tip 1: Food

 

27 Swordfish. Pizzas are for *******.

Whats that? Anchovies heal more hp total? **** THAT

GET YOUR HP FAST AND HARD LIKE A MAN!

 

Tip 2: Clicking

 

It's a proven fact that clicking on a swordfish as fast as you can increases effectiveness. If you can manage to click on it fast enough, it may heal you spontaneously to full hp. Trust me.

 

Tip 3: Chat effects

 

Chat effects will confuse and confound your opponents and get them off of you. They'll have to stop and think "Was he really typing that while he should have been tanking?" By then you'll be miles away.

 

What ever you do, DO NOT mess up chat effects. Misfired chat effects is the number one cause of clan disbandment.

 

Tip 4: Jams

 

Having obnoxious rap music playing while you mini is the most important factor there is. Put yourself in unplayable lag if necessary. I cannot stress this point enough.

 

Tip 5: Da whip

 

It was proven through vigorous testing that the 2h can spontaneously max out at 89 if whipped out in a clan mini while you are being piled by 4+ people. This can startled the enemy as well as ko'ing one of them.

 

Tip 6: Defense

 

Higher defense can improve tanking ten fold.

For best effect, get 99 defense, but 60-85 is still good.

 

 

 

CHALLENGE AND EXTEND

 

For masters of "The *******" style of tanking, use bear meat and a tinder box/axe.

[Sheep]

now i know

[Ded]

nice guide

[Ryan-]

too much effort 2 be funny

[`Pure]

another topic that did not make me laugh out loud

[Yeti]

Maybe it's that people outside of CR think this is a joke and not how we actually "massive tank."

2+ Magic or 14k GOP tokens, I'll take the tokens good sir.

[XskillJohnny]

U tried to be funny but failed. GL rebuilding

[Chain]

Why do the replies on this topic remind me of Pure Community?

[Nsfx]

Great now make a fishing guide.

[Revo]

So this is how they do it!

[-Jared-]

Why do the replies on this topic remind me of Pure Community?

 

^ This.

 

Sucks people dont seem to understand your awesome'ness Bass :(

 

Oh and... :wub: for adding in my bit lol

[Ceejay]

I lol'd, But it helped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A bit.

[Cpt Jack]

Almost laughed.

[`JvYv]

Nice guide.

[♥ Sandra ♥]

Who are you?

 

And it's proven Pizza's work better then Swordies lol. Hence why mains don't use swordies for tanking...

You can get up to almost 40 hp in ~2 secs with pizza's -> you can't do that with swordies.

 

But you're probably not even serious with this topic. So meeh...

[`Pure]

Why do the replies on this topic remind me of Pure Community?

Because the topic itself isn't funny at all.

[Big Alex 67]

okayy

[Anthoni]

So this is how they do it!

[Jake]

U tried to be funny but failed. GL rebuilding

 

This <_< .

[Sparta]

personally your theory is brilliant

[Easy Process]

Nice guide, but need more pics 8)

[Yeti]

I agree with Easy.

Pictures would make this 100x more epic.

 

I know I've been in unplayable lag do to "I'm the Man by Belly ft. Korrupt" numerous times.

[Ieat]

Failed guide.

[Brian]

nice guide

[Ceejay]

Pizza has a time delay though sandra.

 

But i approve of your point.