How to Post a Thread on PW

[Bond]

So your weekly pk trip just ended and its time to let all the folks over on Pure Warfare know how you stacked up this week against the competition. Follow this guide and its guaranteed that your clan will become #1.

 

First things first, you always want to start out a topic with an oversized header picturing your clan's name, banner, slogan, and make sure at the bottom there are links to your forums, memberlist, irc channel, ts channel, clan history page, etc etc. This way, when people view your topic, they will immediately click all the links and join your clan. More clan members = better clan = #1. This method is absolutely foolproof, as hundreds of clanless pures regularly peruse the Clan Warfare section of PW and will only consider joining your clan if you make your topics as bad-ass as possible.

 

Next, you will want to write a paragraph or 2 introducing the trip. Your main objective here is to at first sound like it looked like it was going to be a terrible pull for your clan because of [insert excuse here], but then you always gotta end with "but somehow we managed to peak at [record high amount here] opts!!!#!$#@" You then describe how you set off into the wilderness hunting [insert clan who is far superior than you and you have no business fighting]. This will make it sound like you are in the league with [clan x] so that people think you are more bad ass than you really are, and surely they will join. It is for this reason that we recommend you stick in another GFX after the opening paragraph that also includes links to your forums, memberlist, irc, etc. If the clanless pures did not click your links from your awesome header, then surely they will click them after reading your opening paragraph.

 

Now it is time to post about your first fight of the day. First, state the starting opts of both clans. If you do not know the other clans starting opts, do your best to guess it, then add 15. Now, we will assume for the first fight, since it was early in your trip, that this run-in was straight up 1v1. If not, proceed to the next paragraph for further instruction. After the starting opts and you say how the fight commenced, you always want to give the impression that the other clan took a huge lead and things were looking hopeless. Then, when everything was about to be over, talk about how you miraculously got this ridiculous ko pile going and after [insert some bad ass reason] you managed to comeback with a decisive victory. Reasons could include: sick tanking, filthy spamming, dominant organization, lightning-fast returning. In the other clans ending opts, ALWAYS put down that they had 1-2 people log and/or run into single. This will belittle them and guarantee that nobody will ever join their clan again. In the case that you actually got beat in a run-in, there are several things you can do to ensure that people will still think highly of your clan. 1) wait a few minutes then all return via canoes at the same time, then when nobody is there create a spam tower saying "[enemy clan initials] cleared" and post the screenshot, 2) claim the other clan cheated, or 3) disregard the fight from your topic altogether. After this paragraph, make sure to include another GFX with a round of links. If people didnt follow your links the 1st two times, there is a 100% chance they will now after reading how you manhandled that other clan.

 

As your day of pking continues, there is no doubt you will engage in a fight that was crashed. If you are the one that is doing the crashing, then please proceed to the next paragraph. Anyway, say you are fighting Clan A when Clan B runs in midway through and clears both groups. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to make yourself look good and belittle the other clans. First of all, ALWAYS state that it appeared your clan had the upperhand when Clan B crashed. This is essentially the same as getting a win in the 1st place. Next, make it very obvious that Clan B are douchebags because they crashed your fight. Belittle them in any way possible. It is also recommended that you claim they were teaming with Clan A. This way it appears as if you were fighting two clans at once, and thats just ****** bad ass. In the ending opts part of the topic, even if you got beat, NEVER say that you had 0 ending opts. Always say that you retreated into single, then put in parentheses next to it (because Clan B crashed). For the other clans ending opts, make sure Clan A's is zero and Clan B's is significantly lower than their starting. This way, people will be amazed that despite being at a huge disadvantage, you still took down a good chunk of their members. Once again, now is the time to put another GFX and more links. After seeing how you epically fought two clans at once, how could anyone not click the links now???

 

At some point or another, you also probably ran into two clans already fighting each other. This is a great opportunity for your clan to gain lots of what I call "e-p33n points". There are multiple ways to approach this part of the topic. 1) claim you were hunting the stronger of the two clans you ran into and say you had no idea the other clan was there, 2) say that when you ran in, both clans still had a lot of opts so it was actually a fair fight, or my personal favorite, 3) claim that after seeing you run in, the other two clans teamed up and both were only going after you. Surely you will win because you caught the other 2 clans off guard, so make sure you show the starting opts for all the clans next to each other, followed by the ending opts, with both the other clans ending with zero. This way, it appears to the casual observer that you just took out two clans at once. Or even better, state the starting/ending opts as [enemy clan A + enemy clan B]. You know what to do next - post another round of GFX and links in case anyone was caught up in how awesome your clan was and forgot where to find your forums and memberlist.

 

Finally, in the conclusion, state that the trip was one of your best ones in weeks and always end with "GF to all clans we saw today". This makes your clan appear classy, and will appeal to potential clan members who actually might have some intelligence. End with another big banner linking people to your forums, memberlist, irc, etc. You'd be surprised how many people there are out there with an attention span of less than 2 seconds that may forget where to find your links between the time it took for them to get from reading the intro to the end of your topic.

 

Some other basic rules to follow:

-if at any point you were attacked by people in rune, assume they ONLY attacked your clan and therefore were teaming with the enemy

-NEVER admit to defeat

-post a lot of screenshots at the end showing 6 of your clanmates killing the last member of the opposing clan while spamming "[your clan initials] [ enemy's name]", it only works at the end of a fight cuz then it appears you are dominating them with your killer organization

-if anyone questions the validity of your trip, be sure to argue with them until they go away... your weekend pk trip topics are the single most important thing in determining the future success of your clan -`Pure

-if another clan posts a topic claiming they defeated you, post the screenshot of when you all returned to mossies 5 minutes after the fight ended with the spam tower of "[enemy clan initials] cleared". This screenshot is the ultimate argument and anyone denying its accuracy is a troll

 

 

 

 

How to Reply to a PW Thread - coming soon.

[-Rick]

kk

[Brian-For3ver]

"Finally, in the conclusion, state that the trip was one of your best ones in weeks and always end with "GF to all clans we saw today".

 

Made me lol. Great guide u legend

[Mafia]

Mmmm, quite accurate. However, when listing your opponents opts, you ask one of their less intelligent members via IRC THEN add 15

[Willy]

l00000000l

[Bond]

The sad part is that I can honestly say I believe there are clans out there who employ such tactics when making their topics.

[BarrageKyle]

hahaha very nice job man ;)

[Azrael]

I think every clan already uses this guide, a little late. Solid tips, though.

[fkye]

Great read.

[Xpnkrockemox]

Thanks for the guide. :)

[Eric]

I have dyslexia.

[OIdwildy]

Mmmm, quite accurate. However, when listing your opponents opts, you ask one of their less intelligent members via IRC THEN add 15

 

this.

[TRiXx]

This guide is old everyone uses it now.

[Josh--]

boss

[Yawnz]

nice guide

[Jay]

If this wasn't accurate, I would have deleted it.

[Omni]

God I love you Tim, if only you were active I'd give you mod in a heartbeat, of which you deserved a long time ago on PC.

[Bond]

God I love you Tim, if only you were active I'd give you mod in a heartbeat, of which you deserved a long time ago on PC.

<3

[`Pure]

DOUBLE POSTED OOPS

[`Pure]

If you do not know the other clans starting opts, do your best to guess it, then add 15.

 

That was brilliant. Everything is true. You should add that at the end of the day your clan trip topic is extremely important and definitely won't be forgotten after you post next weeks topic. So be sure to argue as much as possible if people disagree with you.

[Apache]

now im pro at making topics

[Dirty Wobble]

Write a book

[Torag]

thank you!

[Bond]

If you do not know the other clans starting opts, do your best to guess it, then add 15.

 

That was brilliant. Everything is true. You should add that at the end of the day your clan trip topic is extremely important and definitely won't be forgotten after you post next weeks topic. So be sure to argue as much as possible if people disagree with you.

lol I will add that in. Also if anyone else has anything else they would like me to add, let me know.

[Furious]

This is golden.