How do you wipe?

[Ray]

After sitting on the thinking throne for an hour while browsing TL on my laptop, there's nothing like a good wipe. I'm constantly trying out new wiping techniques to see what gives me the most comfortable and the cleanest wipe.

 

When I'm at home, I like to wrap toilet paper around my hand 3-4 times, slip my hand out, and wipe with that perfectly folded, multi-layered piece of toilet paper. When I'm using a public washroom, I wrap toilet paper around my hand about a dozen times. I think you all know how terrible the toilet paper in public washrooms are; If you don't wipe with enough paper, your hand gonna smell like ass.

 

Between standing and sitting, I always wipe standing. The notion of wiping while sitting was alien to me until I heard other people did it. I still have trouble picturing how you would wipe without standing up.

 

As for the direction, I like to wipe front to back. Having poo smeared on my tailbone is always better than having poo smeared over my frontal area. I also find the motion of wiping front to back more natural, but I suppose that comes with habit.

 

So, how do you guys (and the one or two girls brave enough to read this topic) wipe?

 

This is the story of the best wipe I've ever had.

 

I used to work at this place that had hot sauna towels. They were these small square hand towels people use to wipe their face with. They are prepared damp with hot water, and given a tiny bit of lemony fresh scent. Now if these things are good enough to wipe your face with, hell it's good enough to wipe my ass with. These towels are for the customers of course, but I like to steal them whenever I gotta take a dump.

 

Wiping with hot sauna towels is the best wipe you'll ever have. With normal toilet paper, if you wipe too hard, it chafes your butt, but if you don't wipe hard enough, then you don't get a very clean wipe. With hot sauna towels, you can wipe as deeply as you want and it wouldn't chafe your butt one bit; in fact, it feels like heaven. Every single piece of poo clings onto the fibers of the towel, giving a very clean and refreshing wipe. It feels like your butt hole can almost breathe!

 

I urge any of you that can get a hot sauna towel, get one immediately and go take a dump just so you can wipe with it. If you can't get one, then steal your sister's towel, dampen it with hot water, and use that instead. She will probably be angry to find the unholiness of her towel, but once you teach her about this new wiping technique, I'm sure she will forgive you.

 

I'm sure there are plenty of other wiping techniques out there; I heard that people used to wipe with corn cobs, but they had to wash it afterwards which is kinda nasty. I would hate to use public washrooms and have to wash public corn cobs. Please share your butt wiping stories with us so we can all try out new ways to wipe.

[Anthoni]

I love your posts.

[Shroom]

i love the no-wipers where nothing goes on the toilet paper. my wipe technique is similar to yours ray, except I do it sitting down. I use to stand up when I wiped...dunno what happened, changed the way I wipe outta no where.

[Havoc]

I love your posts.

[Ryan-]

yes